Secessionists to Sarah: "Baby Come Back"

'Oh Sarah, won't you come back to us? We dream of you night at day. You're really laying low, then McCain will kick the bucket and you'll allow the States to secede, right?'

'Don't you remember all the wonderful times we had together? When your hubby was a member of our Alaskan Independence Party? You even spoke to us once, we remember it like it was yesterday."

'Remember what our founder said? Why are you ashamed of us? It's not like we're some loony preacher from Chi-Town. We're good, all-American Libertarian types, you know, like the dudes in the wigs that used to have rebellions when governments got too tyrannical.'

"The fires of hell are frozen glaciers compared to my hatred for the American government,"

"I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions."

"And I won't be buried under their damn flag,"

"And then you get mad. And you say, the hell with them. And you renounce allegiance, and you pledge your efforts, your effects, your honor, your life to Alaska."

'Oh Sarah! The pain is too much! Please, please tell us you're really a secessionist in disguise still! You'll save us all, won't you? Bring the whole sordid Federal mess down and leave us States be? Won't you? We'll do anything, anything. We love you Sarah, just give us a sign!'

'Oh, of course, sure, on the 'down low' and all that, we gotcha.'

'Love always,'

'American Secessionists'

(Afterthoughts: Just to clarify, Eamon is no fan of State governments versus Federal and is a true anarchic reconstructionist, mainly espousing the removal of all but the absolute minimum of governments everywhere, and the submission of all State and Federal governments to the smallest, most local neighborhood democratic committees possible. Limited government will then come from the grassroots up, with the local, involved citizenry everywhere having the loudest possible voice, amplified through the authority of local, controllable by the individual, neighborhood town meetings. Free association is key, so folks may have to be permitted to move. With the power in the people, money should be supplied directly to them in order to allow for moving, establishment of the previously mentioned neighborhood committees, etc. A single week of Wall Street and banking class crime, facilitated by the Federal government, aka, $1.3 trillion, should be more than enough.)

(He also finds Sarah Palin vaguely attractive for some bizarre reason, most likely TV-created programming beamed directly into most American males' brains. Either that, or it's the dreams of her dragging a freshly self-hunted caribou home in a bikini, and then cooking up some caribou steaks on the grill in the aforementioned swim-wear. Conservative family values combined with libertarian and egalitarian feminism makes Eamon randy as hell. Well, that and former beauty pageant lasses in librarian glasses. Hubba hubba.)